Kevin Patterson (pattersonphoto) wrote,
Kevin Patterson

Skit comedy

Scene: A man in suit is standing beside a projector (think Al Gore presenting “An Inconvenient Truth” but a lot more monotone and drool) The audience is about three or so people sitting among many empty chairs. One audience member is listening to an ipod and bopping head to the music. The PowerPoint presentation says “An Inconvenient Luthor.”

Presenter: Good evening, welcome to my presentation about the immediate destruction of all we know. I have assembled this 40 slide presentation to illustrate Lex Luthors plans to blow us all up with nuclear weapons. I deplore you, this is of the most utmost importance.

(Presenter clicks button. Next slide is picture of Lex Luthor standing in front of a doomsday clock, date is shown on clock)

Presenter: As you plainly see, Mr. Luthor in his insanity and preoccupation with the Mayan calendar has decided to use his nuclear arsenal this very evening.

(Audience member farts)

Presenter: The blast of the nuclear explosion will destroy all major cities in the world.

(Presenter clicks button. Next Slide is a convoluted chart that seems to be showing some sort of representation of Lex Luthor’s stockpile of nuclear weapons along with list of major cities on earth)

Presenter: This chart represents Mr. Luthor’s incredible stockpile of nuclear weapons, along with the cities he has listed as to be destroyed on his weekly podcast “Last moments with Luthor”

(Two audience members start making out)

Presenter: I can understand your inclination to spend our last moments with a loved one, however, no is the time to take action. “What we take for granted might not be here for our children.”

(male audience member of making out couple, rolls eyes or some sort of simmalur gesture.)

Presenter: (without emotion) People, people, people, people, Future generations may well have occasion to ask themselves, "What were our parents thinking? Why didn't they wake up when they had a chance?" We have to hear that question from them, now.”

Narrator steps out, spotlight on Narrator: Alas, Al Gore’s warnings went unlistened to and unheeded. Lex Luthor did deploy his weapons and society as we know crumpbled and fell. “Cities became deserts, roads became battlefields, and the hope of mankind once again relied” on the quiet man.

(During narration, Al Gore and audience have quickly put on a Mad Max looking outfits. A New powerpoint with title “How to Rebuild society.”

Presenter: Thank your for attending my powerpoint presentation tonight on How to rebuild society. First we must build an agricultural base and new monetary system. As you can planly see…..

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